In the coming months my journey will have many one year markers....
On November 22, 2015 I woke up as I did every other day, never did I imagine that it was going to change my life forever. One year ago today I discovered a lump in my left breast that was quite visible to the naked eye. I felt like something had taken over my breast, the knot in my throat, I can still feel today every time I think of that day. We never imagine that anything can happen to us, we all feel we are invincible, but reality is we are not and anything can happen at any time, in fact we are quite vulnerable.
One year later I sit here and think of everything I have gone through since that day. I would not have imagined in a million years that I would've been diagnosed with breast cancer. Why me? I am too young! No breast cancer history in my family.....and so on.
That day has forever changed my life and also saved my life. At 40 years old with no pre-existing history or cancer in the family, I was not screened for mammograms or ultrasounds, a self breast exam is what saved my life. I cannot say it enough, ladies and gentlemen take 2 minutes and do the self testing, if you feel something react quickly and have it checked. I realize that we cannot panic or run to a doctor every time we feel something odd, but we know in our gut when something is not right. My gut told me from the minute I saw my lump that i was not going to get good news.
So much has happened in the last year since my discovery, so much has changed, I have changed. No matter how strong you try to be their comes a time when you sit down and say to yourself, what the fuck just happened. That is when cancer slaps you on the other cheek and makes you realize what you have just gone through, at that moment you can feel the air being sucked out of your stomach, a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach and the sobbing that is uncontrollable. A reality that nobody wants to live or see a loved one live.
I am very happy to be done with all my treatments and to have beaten breast cancer. But a little thing called chemo side effects is what I now have to live with.
- Chemo Brian, basically a brain fog that is very frustrating, I know what I want to say but the words don't come out
- chronic pain in my shoulders, arms, elbows, fingers and toes, today I was told it is Fibromyalgia and that there is no magic cure. I have to learn to manage my pain because I do not want to take pills. My body was injected with enough poison. This makes day to day activities a little difficult.
- fatigue, I am physically tired all the time.
- depression, yes as strong as I am, this is something that is very hard for me and I am not ashamed to admit that I am having a hard time coping with everything I have gone through. I will start seeing a therapist who will help me learn how to cope and accept.
Throughout this journey I have been very strong, I knew I had a tough battle ahead and I was not ready to lose the fight. I kept it together as best as I could and I always had a smile on my face with a positive attitude, along with the best husband I could've asked for.
The breast cancer battle is over Franca 1 - Breast Cancer 0. Ironically I believe that breast cancer will always have a little win over me, it has instilled the fear of recurrence.
I always said that if I could help just one woman I will do it in a heartbeat. This is not an easy journey, the people that surround you and support is very important. The most important, only someone who has gone through it can truly understand it.
Love you all for your support
Franca
