It has been a while since I have updated my blog and let you all know how I am doing post treatments. So you are all aware than I am now 1 year cancer free and so happy to be able to say the words. One year ago I was mentally preparing myself to start my first round of chemo therapy on March 23, 2016, how does one mentally prepare for that, honestly I tried to stay calm and tell myself that everything was going to be ok. I can still remember walking into the chemotherapy section of the Cancer Center and thinking to myself, what the f--k am I doing here, it all felt so surreal and like a really bad dream. I remember the nurse being very nice and sympathetic with me, she tried to make me feel as comfortable as possible, explained exactly what the procedure would be and then began to poison my body with some of the strongest shit that has ever entered my body. It was crazy to think that my body was receiving these drugs because I at 40 years old was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, that alone was a nightmare I wanted to wake up from and never did. The nausea, vomiting, fatigue, loss of appetite, lost all my hair (all over) and bed ridden for 7-10 days afterwards completely out of control of my body and mind. I NEVER want to go through that again.
Now one year later I prepare for the final phase of this unwanted journey with ER+/PR+ HER2- Breast Cancer. Everything I have done since the beginning of this journey has been made with the intention that I do not want this disease to come back in places that I can prevent it. Therefore, preventatively I chose to have both my breast removed instead of just the one that was affected by the disease, they removed 11 lymph nodes, underwent 15 rounds of chemotherapy and 25 rounds of radiation. Now, the next step in prevention is that I will be having my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed, having had an estrogen based cancer, the risk is elevated for me to develop ovarian cancer. I am still waiting, it has been 7 months already, to be tested if I am a carrier of the BRCA gene. Therefore my doctors are treating this as though I were and taking all the precautions possible.
Some may think I am crazy, another surgery, anesthesia, recovery process, the anxiety of waiting for the results, and praying that there are no cancer cells. This is something important to me and only I can make this decision, it is so important to be to be able to eliminate certain risk factors, In the end I can do all this but if the higher power has different plans for me I cannot control that. Although I am the only woman in the family to have had breast cancer, the testing for the BRCA is so very important to me. I have a daughter and cousins whom I feel should be aware if this is something hereditary, I know that I would want to know and be given options.
So, April 20 is the big day for my bilateral Salpingo Oophorectomy and I hope that this will be the final part of my journey. It has been a long 15 months and I would love to close the chapter of this part of my life and be able to try and live a normal life again. I am no longer the woman I was before all this but I would at least like to chance to find the new me and embrace life.
Thank you all for your love and support
