5 of 9 Taxol - chemo #11

Last Tuesday I received my 5th round of Taxol, with my husband by my side. 

Every round is getting harder and harder, the pain in my legs increases every time, the soreness in my arms, numbing and tingling in my hands and feet and worse of all, the swelling. I feel like a pregnant woman, by the end of the night I can no longer see my ankles.  I have put on almost 20 pounds from water retention due to the drugs, but knowing this will almost be over will be worth every pound. It can and will be lost...

I am almost at the finish line of chemotherapy and can put it behind me. It will be like a bad dream that I woke up from as a winner. 

Today is the day that I found out if tomorrow will be my last chemo or if I will need 3 more treatments. 

This has been a long journey and I still have a way to go, but I have fought every step of the way. 

The love and support of my husband, daughter, family and friends is what kept me fighting. Giving up was never contemplated, no matter how hard the decisions were and no matter how hard they are to live with. 

Live...Love...Laugh

Love

Franca 

3 and 4 of 9 Taxol

Hello to all, I am a little behind in my update on my treatments. My treatments are weekly so there is not much that changes or at least that is what I thought. 

Treatment 1 and 2 of Taxol were a breeze, I was out of commission on the day of the treatment but the day after I was up and feeling pretty good. Pain was minimal and very few side effects. 

By treatment 3 of Taxol the pain in my legs began to increase slowly. When I would lie down or sit for a period of time, getting up was starting to become difficult. I can describe it as a burning sensation that runs in my thighs and calves, making it a little difficult to walk. The pain would subside and was tolerable. As the days go by the pain increases slightly and with the 4th infusion of Taxol today I am afraid that it will get worse. 

I will not complain, this is still much easier than Taxotere that 1 treatment equivalent to about 3 Taxols landed me in the hospital. This not comparable, but it is very discomforting. 

I am hoping that I am almost done. On July 25th I will see my oncologist who will decide if I will be done with my chemo treatments on July 26 at 6 Taxol plus whatever I had already done between the FEC-D and Taxotere (Docetaxel), that will give me a total 12 chemo treatment, or I will have to go until the end with 3 extras for a total of 15. 

At this point I want to do what is best and if that is 15 then that is what I will do. I will do or try anything to be sure that this cancer does not come back, and that myself or my family does not have to go through this agony again. 

Cancer is invasive and destructive. It takes away your self confidence and your dignity, although it has made me stronger than I have ever been. It has also made me realize plenty about life, family and friends. No matter how many people I have behind me, routing me on and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.  This is my fight and I am the only one who has to be strong enough to fight this, with all the ones who truly want to be by my side. 

So thank you to my husband, I don't know why I would've done without him, he has taken on a role that no man should have to do. He has been amazing with me through this whole mess. My daughter who always brings a smile to my face and for whom I fight everyday. My mom who who hurts so much for me and never shows it. She is amazing with my daughter and everything she does for her and for us. My friends who are by my side physically or just a phone call, text, fb message and of course to family that has been by our sides, made the time or taken the effort to support us thought this terrible time in our lives. 

Love you all so much

2 of 9 Taxol

I received my 2nd taxol treatment on June    28, 2016.  Another round of poison entering my body to get rid of the bitch that decided to take over my breast without hesitation. I may sound a little harsh but sometimes I think to myself how wrong this is on so many levels. This disease enters your body without warning and by the time you figure it out it's too late and a part of you is gone and nothing can ever bring it back.   But I can say that no matter how sick, how much pain and all the other side effects of the chemo, I will come out the winner in the end. 

Round 2 was pretty much like the first one, I am so tired on the chair that I fall asleep throughout the treatment and when I get home I am out for a few more hours. Although I don't have the nausea this time around, my fingers and toes hurt, I have insomnia, my legs and arms hurt all the time, my fingernails are so sensitive and the mood swings and heat flashes are unbearable. So all in all chemo sucks hard, but at least I am not in a hospital bed with infection and fever again. 

At 40 years old being told you have breast cancer and that both breasts will be removed, you have to do chemo and then radiation is basically your whole world crumbling down on you. What I had to do is slowly get myself out of that rubble and try to breath and tell myself that this will be the fight of my life and that I will be a "survivor"

Everyday is a struggle in every sense of the word, not sure if it's the menopause but my emotions are a roller coaster. Looking in the mirror is a still like a bad dream for me, and many times I will cry on my own, not for what I lost but for how I lost it.  People say don't worry you can have them reconstructed. For many years I wanted breast augmentation and would've done it without hesitation, now it is reconstruction and it's a whole different ball game. Everything changes and nothing will be the same. 

Don't take anything for granted, in a heartbeat it can be gone. 

Franca

💞😘