2 of 9 Taxol

I received my 2nd taxol treatment on June    28, 2016.  Another round of poison entering my body to get rid of the bitch that decided to take over my breast without hesitation. I may sound a little harsh but sometimes I think to myself how wrong this is on so many levels. This disease enters your body without warning and by the time you figure it out it's too late and a part of you is gone and nothing can ever bring it back.   But I can say that no matter how sick, how much pain and all the other side effects of the chemo, I will come out the winner in the end. 

Round 2 was pretty much like the first one, I am so tired on the chair that I fall asleep throughout the treatment and when I get home I am out for a few more hours. Although I don't have the nausea this time around, my fingers and toes hurt, I have insomnia, my legs and arms hurt all the time, my fingernails are so sensitive and the mood swings and heat flashes are unbearable. So all in all chemo sucks hard, but at least I am not in a hospital bed with infection and fever again. 

At 40 years old being told you have breast cancer and that both breasts will be removed, you have to do chemo and then radiation is basically your whole world crumbling down on you. What I had to do is slowly get myself out of that rubble and try to breath and tell myself that this will be the fight of my life and that I will be a "survivor"

Everyday is a struggle in every sense of the word, not sure if it's the menopause but my emotions are a roller coaster. Looking in the mirror is a still like a bad dream for me, and many times I will cry on my own, not for what I lost but for how I lost it.  People say don't worry you can have them reconstructed. For many years I wanted breast augmentation and would've done it without hesitation, now it is reconstruction and it's a whole different ball game. Everything changes and nothing will be the same. 

Don't take anything for granted, in a heartbeat it can be gone. 

Franca

💞😘