Results Day - 2 years Post Breast Cancer

Hello all of my followers, I truly hope that 2018 has started out as a great year for you all.....

2017 ended with some pestering symptoms for me, that became very worrisome.  I saw my family doctor end of December 2017 and explained to him that I was experiencing unusual headaches that were quite frequent ( almost everyday), I began to have difficulty breathing, difficulty with forming a clear sentence (the word was in my head but not coming out of my mouth) and the intensity of my pain was increasing on a daily basis.  He assured me that I was doing well and that I should not worry, he is always bang on with his recommendations, but having had cancer, I no longer take chances.  My oncology follow-up was scheduled for April 2018, there was no way I was going to wait that long.  Even though I am done with treatments, the oncology nurse is always there to listen to our concerns, I explained to her the situation and she was able to move up my appointment from April to Feb 22.

And so begins the drill of questions and me pouring out to the doctor exactly what I am feeling, how I don't feel like myself, the side effects are increasing and its been almost 2 years out of chemo, the fear of recurrence has kicked into full gear.  I can see the fear in my husbands eyes, the uncertainty that will unfortunately always be there.

I got to say I love and appreciate my oncologist so much, he listens and does not judge, he is reassuring and doesn't think I am CRAZY...because sometimes I think I am. He quickly told me that I should not panic and that he would run the necessary tests to rule out recurrence, which he reassured me a dozen time was highly unlikely. He scheduled a chest X-ray(lungs), CT-Scan of my head and nuclear heart test as well as blood tests.  In the 4 weeks since I had seen him, all of my tests were done and completed, the anxiety was building up and I just wanted to know, good or bad just tell me something.

In the meantime, he asked me to stop taking my hormone blocker (Letrozole) to see if the headaches and pain would decrease, it helped with the pain, not so much with headaches.  Unfortunately this is a medication that I will have to take for the next 8 years to eliminate whatever little estrogen that my body can still produce through my hormones.

So fast forward to this morning March 20, 2018 finally its RESULTS day and although I know in my gut that its going to be good news, there is always that small part of me that fears the recurrence.  I sat in the waiting room, yet again looking around me and getting flashbacks of everything that I went through and how difficult it was was on me, my husband, my precious daughter, family and friends...there was no way this BITCH was coming back to take over my life and my body once again.

Finally, my name is called, I get up walk through the hallway saying all the prayers I can think of.  I open the door, I guess he can see the look of fear in my face, I have barely sat down on the chair and he is says to me........ALL IS GOOD, N.E.D. (No Evidence of Disease).......let me tell you all, I could feel the weight literally leave my shoulders and I was able to breath again.  All of my tests results were clear and I am still in remission 2 years later...Thank you Jesus.

So we made the decision to change my meds and try a different one for the next 2 months, as for my headaches a consult with Neuro was recommended to see if they are migraines.  Speech, memory, pain, weight gain, emotional, physical and mental challenges are all struggles that I have to deal with on a daily basis, so i put a smile on and some lipstick and deal with them.

A surprising tidbit of info I did find out today was that my breast cancer was in fact a Stage 3 and not a Stage 2 as i always understood.  I guess when you are going through something like this there is lots of info that gets lost or misinterpreted in presence of fear.  I take it as a good thing, had i understood that from the beginning i believe the fear would have been on a much higher level.

I am grateful everyday for having had the blessing of beating this disease, but the ironically its always there....

Today is the first day of Spring, the flowers will soon bloom, if the snow ever melts, but they will see the light again and so have I.


Love you my rock for never leaving my side...

Franca

Goodbye 2017

WOW July was my last blogpost, I guess that could be a good thing, it means that life has been getting back on track in many ways.


BRCA1/BRCA2 was the big results that were weighing on me since the start of this diagnosis.  Although I knew that my chances of being a carrier of the Breast Cancer gene was unlikely, there is no breast cancer history in my family.  The thought that if I was a carrier and that I could've passed it onto my daughter was eating away at me.  My blood tests were drawn in June 2017 and my results came in in November....5 months of praying and agonizing over what would be.  Finally, I am NOT a carrier of either gene, I could feel the immediate weight being lifted off my shoulders as the doctor gave me my results, another hurdle done.

The last 6 months have gone by in the blink of an eye.  Back to work is great, it feels so good to be back at the office and keeping busy, being home was great but the mind wonders too often.  I must admit I do not have the same stamina I once had, I get tired very easily and my brain fogs quite often, I hate the lasting effects of chemo.

My husband and I took a mini vacation to Cuba to get away after a very hard and trying time we went through, I strongly say we.  Yes I was the one with the cancer but my husband and family was just as affected by it.  We enjoyed peace and quite, the sound of the ocean and I was pain free for 4 days.  I stayed in the ocean all day until I became a prune, it was amazing to not feel pain throughout my body, I forgot what that was like.

It was great to reconnect away from all the reminders of what was, although many will say to me that it is in the past and forget about it...move on...easier said than done.  I always say you need to really walk in someone's shoes to truly understand their trials, this is something that will never go away nor be forgotten, how can it, it is a constant reminder for me everyday when I look in the mirror, when I get out of bed in pain and go to bed in pain,when I get tired so easily.  I am so lucky and blessed to be able to look back and say wow I went through breast cancer and I beat it.

Friends are the family we choose is so true, I am blessed to have friends with whom I have had in my life for 30+ years.  Although oceans divided some of us and life took its own paths we were always there when it counted most.  We decided to take a little trip to Vegas together in November and it was an amazing experience.  We enjoyed 4 days of sightseeing, shopping, eating, drinking but most of all laughing.  This is a trip that I will cherish forever and a check off my bucket list...onto the next adventure together.

Something that I kept telling my husband that I wanted to do was to volunteer at the Quebec Breast Cancer Foundation.  Almost 6 months ago I sent them an email and asked if I could volunteer as an ambassador for the foundation.  Having been through the cancer wringer I can say that the foundation is one that not helps in local research but the patient/family care is just beyond words.  I was so very touched and impressed by the free services and financial aid that is offered, something that many people are not aware of.  So, in December I attending a training session to be an Ambassador for the foundation and I accepted wholeheartedly to volunteer my time.  I want to give back and make woman aware that this is serious and that it is not taboo to speak about our breasts and to ask questions, we have a great organization right here and they are always available to help or answer questions....your gut feeling is always right, listen to it...I listened to mine.

People have often asked me how I smile all the time, and how I am always happy given everything that life has thrown at me.  Sometimes it is a cover to not show the sadness, the fear and the disappointment of what could've been, but in the end life is to short to be angry at it, to be bitter  at the why's and to question all that happens, fear lives inside me everyday but I will not let it takeover my life.  I say to myself that life is like a gift, everyday you open your eyes, unwrap the gift slowly and enjoy it, we don't know what the next hour will hold for us let alone tomorrow, live it as you choose to, what makes you happy...a little selfish, maybe, but if you are happy, your surroundings are a better place.

As another year is coming to an end, I am truly blessed to be thriving as a survivor.  December 30, 2015 is a day that I will never forget but it is a day that I will look back on every year and say thank you for another year, thank you for allowing me to share my story with you all.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and the most amazing New Year. I wish you all health and make everyday count.

2018...to be continued


Love you all
Franca

1 Year Post Chemo

So, i am officially one year post chemo......WOW, i honestly did not see this day coming so quickly.  it sometimes feels like yesterday that i was told i had Breast Cancer, the words resound in my ears at times and its still difficult to believe at times.  I can remember so clearly the day i sat in the Chemo chair for the very first time, it is a feeling that is gut wrenching and also surreal.  I never imagined going through what i went through, but one thing i did know was that i was ready to fight the biggest battle of my life, for my life.

I always say that although we believe it will never happen to us, it can and as scary as the statistics of 1 in 9 is the reality is there.  The numbers are terrifying and real, everyday countless numbers of men and women are diagnosed not only with Breast Cancer but any cancer.  When i post each month for #feelitonthefirst I am not trying to be pushy or intrusive, i am trying to help one person be aware of their body.  We all have busy lives and forget to stop and listen to what our body is telling us, trust me your body gives you signs, you need to take a minute to listen and act.  My body gave me signs that i ignored and now looking back i should've listened.

One year post chemo, how do I feel?

I feel grateful for everyday that i wake up and see the faces of my daughter, husband, family and friends.

I feel grateful for having gotten a second chance at life

I feel grateful for everyone who stood by my side then and now

I feel grateful that my experience has allowed me to help others and put myself out there to help others

I feel grateful to be able to speak about my journey and learn from others

I also feel pain throughout my body due to Fibromyalgia that i developed through my chemo. Pain that i will probably have to live with for the rest of my life, among other side effects, pills are the answer to which i do not agree, they are a band-aid that may help with one symptom but can possibly bring on many more.  So i wake up each morning put my smile on and go about my day, i refuse to let it take over.

I feel sorrow for what i have lost and will never regain.  I lost both my breast, i lost my female reproductive organs, i also lost myself at some point, and i am slowly finding her again but I will never be the same person I was.  I look at life from a different angle, one that is not always black and white, but one that has more color.

I am blessed and grateful for my life, my husband, my daughter, family and friends.

Thank you for always supporting me.

Yes, once again this year i will participating in the CIBC run for the cure, the foundation is amazing and i can say that i did use their patient services during my treatments.  They do not only put the money towards research but also towards the patient care.  I was able to get a massage, they provide wigs for free during the time you need it, they provide free yoga classes, they provide financial help, Look Good Feel Better and so much more.

If you are interested in joining my team or donating please click on the link below.

Love & Kisses
Franca

http://www.supportcbcf.com/goto/breasts4life

Life after Breast Cancer - Conference

On Saturday June 3, 2017 the Quebec Breast Cancer Foundation held their 1st conference on "Life after Breast Cancer".  As soon as I received the email information I immediately knew that I wanted to go and hear and share what other women have gone through and the women who are presently going through it.  I knew that I needed to share this experience with someone, and the first person I thought of was Natascia who has recently begun her own personal journey with breast Cancer.

The event was held at the Montreal Symphony Center (Place des Arts), I would say we were about 200 attendees, mostly women but some men as well.  The conference was divided in 3 themes throughout the day:
1.  Life after Breast Cancer: which was discussed by 3 professionals.  The topic was focused on after the treatments, our fears, recurrence, anxiety, neuropathy and the importance of physical activity.  Anyone having gone through a life altering experience can and probably will experience all of them, but how we learn to either cope or get passed it is what is key.  We are all different individuals and our healing process varies.  I can say for myself, having gone through many curves in my life and this being at the top of the list with my daughters disability it is very easy to hit rock bottom.  What I did learn is that we are the only ones who can pick ourselves off the rock and slowly accept our new life. It is not easy, in fact it is extremely difficult, there is daily neuropathy pain in my case fibromyalgia, something I will have to live with the rest of my life, a constant reminder of my breast cancer.  Recently there was a loss in my family and his loss I believe changed my thinking very quickly, we are fragile beings and tomorrow is unknown at any age.  That made me realize that I needed to stop focusing on what if and focus on what is.

2.  Research and Patient Services: discussed by 2 doctors in the prospect of informing on how important clinical studies are.  Although here in Canada we are quite behind in medical advancement, in part by Health Canada and lack of funding.  Our medial teams are strong willed and passionate about concluding the studies and allowing patients to receive a more personalized treatment for Breast Cancer.  We all see how much money is being donated and why is there no cure or there is a cure and are they hiding it.  There is no way for any of us to ever know the truth but just look around at how many women used to die from Breast Cancer 20 years ago as opposed to today.  1 in 9 women will develop breast cancer in their life, everyone's hope is that it disappears.

3.  Scientific Advancements: WOW, this was a panel of 3 spectacular doctors but one in particular stood out Dr. Té Vuong, she is the director at the Segal Cedar's Cancer Center (Jewish General Hospital) Radio-oncology.  If you have a chance to look her up, her research is a mere 2 years away from patient clinical trial.  She will change the way that cancers are treated, less invasive, less side effects than chemo therapy and destruction of the cancer molecule.

4.  Dr. Richard Beliveau and Mitsou: for anyone who does not know him, go research him, he is phenomenal.  Mitsou is the spokesperson for the Quebec Breast Cancer Foundation and a very humble woman who is very passionate for the cause. DR. Beliveau explains how our life choices are detrimental to preventing or lowering our risk of developing cancer.  He explained that the fear all breast cancer patients have of Soya or estrogen based foods is nonsense.  There is no proven fact or publishing's that incorporating Soya into your diet will increase chance of recurrence.  In short, what we put into our stomachs is what we must be aware of, but there are many environmental factors as well. Also, a strong point he made is that our intake of nutrients and vitamins must always come from food and not a pill.

What did I take from my day at the conference, well basically in a nutshell we are the only ones who can control our body and mind, if we plant seeds, water them and nurture them they will grow beautiful and healthy.  If on the other hand we plant seeds but keep them in the shade and give water occasionally, they will not grow or get sick quickly.   There is also the genetic factor, and not necessarily hereditary.

It was a great experience, and I will definitely return next year May 4-5, 2018 at Palais des Congres.

Thank you Natascia for accompanying me, we both came out of it a little wiser.

On that note, I have been home for 1 year and 4 months and it is time to get myself back to the office....tomorrow back to work.

Franca 😘

 

Surgery Done

As previously mentioned that I would be having my FINAL surgery in this  Breast Cancer journey of mine.  The day came to finally have my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed and become what they call a Previvor for Ovarian Cancer.  My surgery was preventative due to the type of Breast Cancer that I had.

It is amazing how not too long ago a woman would have to be cut open diagonally to undergo any type of complete or partial hysterectomy.  Now a days maybe a little to advanced and too quick to get you out of the hospital, but nonetheless a great way to heal quickly. I had my best support team by my side as always, my husband and my mom.

My day on April 20, 2017 went by so quickly I feel it was almost like a dream.  I was asked to be at the hospital for 730am and surgery was scheduled for 11am.  Once again I must give a great shout out to the staff at Cite de la Sante Hospital, they are amazing.  So basically its always the same routine, I am so used to it now that I can predict exactly what they will do and how often they will come to do it.  All of the blood pressure, temperature, blood tests, the same 50 million questions asked by 3 different people and then off to surgery.  I saw my doctor who is a wonderful gynecologist with a heart of gold and understands my situation as it were her own.  She came to speak to me quickly, gave me the run down of the procedure, basically no horizontal cut, just 3 little incisions and that is it.  In all honesty that was a deal breaker for me to have the surgery, I could not have put myself through the old fashion method and be out of commission for weeks, not with my daughter and her needs.  I went in, it was lights out and next thing I knew I was in the recovery room in a shit load of pain, nothing some morphine didn't help very quickly.  I am not very big on taking pain killers but when its needed I will not refuse them, that was the last dose of morphine I took.  Basically after that they make you walk and then bye bye you can go home, I see my doctor in 6 weeks for the pathology results, but she assured me that all looked good.

I am now 5 days post op and I can say that I feel much better, the intensity of the pain has diminished significantly and no meds are needed or taken.  I had a great nurse taking care of me all weekend, how could I have asked for better and my daughter was very well taken care of by my mom. I am very blessed, I know I have said this numerous times throughout my blogs but I don't know what I would've done this without the support of my husband, the help of my mom with my daughter and to all my friends and family who have been by my side and my family's side throughout this entire journey.

I cannot express my gratitude enough towards all of you who have read, commented, sent a little note, planned get together's and always made me smile or silently liked my blogs and shared my journey with me.  This is not the end of my journey, I am closing the book on my Breast Cancer and shout out proudly that I Fought and I Won.  I now begin the next phase of my life. I can assure you there will be more blogs, awareness is key.

Being a breast cancer survivor at 41 years old is not something I ever imagined would happen, this journey has taught me so much about myself and many others, life is short so LIVE LOVE & LAUGH everyday with the ones who make you happy and are true to you.

Thank you and love you all so much

Oophorectomy ---Another Surgery

It has been a while since I have updated my blog and let you all know how I am doing post treatments.  So you are all aware than I am now 1 year cancer free and so happy to be able to say the words.  One year ago I was mentally preparing myself to start my first round of chemo therapy on March 23, 2016, how does one mentally prepare for that, honestly I tried to stay calm and tell myself that everything was going to be ok.  I can still remember walking into the chemotherapy section of the Cancer Center and thinking to myself, what the f--k am I doing here, it all felt so surreal and like a really bad dream.  I remember the nurse being very nice and sympathetic with me, she tried to make me feel as comfortable as possible, explained exactly what the procedure would be and then began to poison my body with some of the strongest shit that has ever entered my body.  It was crazy to think that my body was receiving these drugs because I at 40 years old was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, that alone was a nightmare I wanted to wake up from and never did.  The nausea, vomiting, fatigue, loss of appetite, lost all my hair (all over) and bed ridden for 7-10 days afterwards completely out of control of my body and mind.  I NEVER want to go through that again. 

Now one year later I prepare for the final phase of this unwanted journey with ER+/PR+ HER2- Breast Cancer.  Everything I have done since the beginning of this journey has been made with the intention that I do not want this disease to come back in places that I can prevent it.  Therefore, preventatively I chose to have both my breast removed instead of just the one that was affected by the disease, they removed 11 lymph nodes, underwent 15 rounds of chemotherapy and 25 rounds of radiation.  Now, the next step in prevention is that I will be having my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed, having had an estrogen based cancer, the risk is elevated for me to develop ovarian cancer.  I am still waiting, it has been 7 months already, to be tested if I am a carrier of the BRCA gene.  Therefore my doctors are treating this as though I were and taking all the precautions possible.

Some may think I am crazy, another surgery, anesthesia, recovery process, the anxiety of waiting for the results, and praying that there are no cancer cells.  This is something important to me and only I can make this decision, it is so important to be to be able to eliminate certain risk factors,  In the end I can do all this but if the higher power has different plans for me I cannot control that.  Although I am the only woman in the family to have had breast cancer, the testing for the BRCA is so very important to me.  I have a daughter and cousins whom I feel should be aware if this is something hereditary, I know that I would want to know and be given options.

So, April 20 is the big day for my bilateral Salpingo Oophorectomy and I hope that this will be the final part of my journey. It has been a long 15 months and I would love to close the chapter of this part of my life and be able to try and live a normal life again.  I am no longer the woman I was before all this but I would at least like to chance to find the new me and embrace life.

Thank you all for your love and support

1st Year Anniversary - Survivor

I can clearly remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach one year ago today.  all the pre-op was done, scans, biopsies, MRI, blood tests and all I was doing was waiting for a part of me to be removed, actually taken away from me forever...yes they can always be reconstructed and have very perky breasts for a long time, but they wouldn't be mine.  the feeling that I was not in control and that cancer had consumed me and my thoughts.  I remember my husband and family all there with me, waiting for me to be wheeled in for surgery and praying that they would successfully take all the cancer out.  I remember being in the operating room and my doctor spoke to me and tried to reassure me that all was going to go well, and then it was lights out, 3 hours later I woke up in the recovery room very groggy and very sore.  I remember thinking, this is done and now I can breath a little better, I saw my husband as they wheeled me out of the recovery room and he had a sigh of relief on his face and yet we knew the battle was ahead of us.  I remember the doctor announcing that all the cancer was removed and that there were no surrounding markers, 11 lymph nodes were removed and that I would be ok, every other treatment from there on would be as precaution and prevention.  Everything still seems so raw in my mind and maybe it always will or maybe it will fade with time, but I believe that some life experiences stay with you forever.

Today one year later, I am back to the road of recovery from a 10 month battle.  I knew that it was not going to be easy and that I would go through many emotions.  As I said throughout many of my posts, I was ready to fight this with everything I had, I was not ready or willing to let cancer beat me.  In the 10 months all I could think of was that I have a young daughter who needs me and a husband who adores me and that was my will to fight.

So, I went through double mastectomy, 15 rounds of chemotherapy, 25 rounds of radiation and now 10 years of Tamoxifen, but I did it, I beat cancer and hope and pray everyday that it never comes back.

Today February 12, 2017 is a great day, it is a date that I will remember and cherish forever, my doctor told me to celebrate and not worry about the what if's of life....they will always be there.  one year ago I was not sure I was going to be here today celebrating life, my life as a cancer survivor,

I am beyond happy to be able to say that I am 1 YEAR CANCER FREE.

Thank you to my husband for being by my side every step of the way, to my daughter for coping with all the change the best way she could, my mom for all her help love and strength and to all my family and friends who were always there for us and always ready to help in any way they could. Lastly my followers (friends) thank you for all of your prayers and good wishes, it made my journey a little easier.

So today I ask that each and everyone you appreciate your life, at times difficult and stressful but you are alive and healthy, that is the most precious gift that your life can give you.

Celebrate life 💞💞💞💞

Franca